Friday, December 24, 2010

Danielle's Letter To Santa

Dear Santa:

I guess this year I am chiming in with quite a significant request. I consider this to be so because I have already tried asking the other big man and he cannot seem to get it right. All I want is a decent man. Seems simple right? Well, not so. I want a guy who is single, has a job, is attractive, relatively intelligent, capable, able to keep up with me, faithful, worships the ground I walk on and appreciates me for the goddess I am. I know this might seem like a lot, but I have learned from experience that you cannot just ask for something and expect the granting party to get all the details right. How hard can this be? Really? Apparently it is an impossible task, because I have asked for a decent man before, but there is always some kind of fatal relationship flaw. First I simply asked for a good man and I got it. At least I thought I did. Turns out he had the sex drive of a penguin. Jesus, what a waste. So then I thought, ok, I need to be more specific with my wishes. I wished for a big dick and a high sex drive. Lo and behold, I got it, as if by magic, ask and ye shall receive. The fatal flaw? He already had an old lady... Really Lord? Really? I was not aware that it would be a requirement to detail every flipping common sense detail. So, Santa, I challenge you to handle a task that has been flubbed more than a few times and bring me a dream... And no, I will not sit on your lap. ;)

Always Naughty,