Thursday, June 23, 2011

Is That How I Am Looked At?

Yesterday, started like any other day since I moved. I woke up, did a little bit of stretching. Let out a tribal yell that would make Zena Warrior Princess so totally jealous. We look around wondering what the day is gonna bring. I could tell you, and I guess I will cause I have nothing else to do at the moment. The time is getting close to 4. All day I had been feeling like I got hit by a bus. My health still hasn't been the greatest. I still get the headaches that causes me to blackout. I have no idea what is causing them and neither do the doctors I have been. I am thinking I need to see House, at least that way I can be told what I don't have. It's not Lupus. Maybe, I can go to Sacred Heart and be treated by Dr. Reed. Seriously though, I would give up anything in the entire world to find out why. It has really put a stop on things that I loved to do. I had one a about a week where I blacked out in my friend's kitchen. I had quit breathing for a while during it. I know it had to scare my friends.

As my friend and I were leaving to do our daily errands, which would include grocery shopping, going to the post office and playing Nut Hammer. I know what you are asking. What in the hell is Nut Hammer? If you have been in the toy isle at Wal-Mart, you know that the they will push any toy from a major motion picture based on a nerds wet fantasy super hero. This movie in particular would be the homoerotic, Thor. They sell the hammers out of foam. so my friend and I sit on opposite sides of the living room throwing the foam Thor hammer at each testicles. The thing he doesn't tell me, is that he wears a cup. Wham! My middle testicle goes down like Frazier. Well, after I take a frozen pork chop and place them on my nuts to help. Shhhhh. Don't tell him his pork chops were used for that.

We head out the door . As we head to the car, I see a robin sitting in the yard. We get closer to the car and the robin just starts hopping. He has a broken leg. It's was sad to watch to the bird try to take off and not be able to. It made me wonder something.I wonder since I have become sick do people look at me like I looked at the bird. It sounds weird. When my health went south, So did my heart. I haven't been able to keep my spirits up at all. Each time I try to pick myself up, I feel like i get knocked back down. I let it eat at me into all hours of the night. It's scary not to know why, I black out. I never thought how much it stressed me out till I realized that was the reason I was crying myself to sleep every night.

Am I like that bird? Will I ever be healed enough to fly again? I know someday I will. I know I will be healed. I am like that bird one hundred percent. People do look at me differently cause of my health, and instead of taking time to know the person I am. I will be strong again. The two things that have kept me going is my friends, and knowing that I can make one person laugh a day. I wanted to say thank you and enjoy a good game of Nut Hammer, unless you are a woman, than enjoy a rousing game Cooter Hammer


~*Jayme In the Sky With Diamonds*~ said...

I love you for who you are Richard. You're one of my bestest friends. I don't pity you for getting sick, I just keep praying someone can figure out how to help you. You don't need pity, you're not like the bird. The bird is a small, helpless creature who without someone around to help will never make it. You on the other hand are strong, able, and will make it no matter what.