Thursday, August 04, 2011

The Big Bowl Of Random 24/7

I lost track of what number this bowl of random is. I think cause I either have the memory of Dory from Finding Nemo or the fact I can't count. I lean for the second one cause I did go to school in Missouri. The only thing that state can show is a terrible education. Have you read the mindless dribble that has been posted here. Well, this one isn't going to be any different than the rest. I try to live up to low expectations. If they were high I would make everyone a very sad panda. The Big Bowl of Random is just a bunch of random thoughts that just aren't long enough for their own post. I take great pride in coming up with things that no one really gives two shits and a peanut about. Grab your bibs, and sit down at the table complete with candlelight. I know you want a Bowl of Random and here is served slightly warm. Don't forget the saltines.

I can't be the only person out there in the United States that will not sit in a balcony of a theater that is named after Abraham Lincoln. I am to cute to die

There are days I want kids, and then there are days I want to sell other peoples kids on Ebay or as I like to refer to it, The Redneck Black Market. I was in a restaurant this past weekend where their kid was running up and grabbing food off other peoples plates. Now granted, it was a Chinese Buffet and the child was probably looking for Mr. Whiskers the families pet cat. It took everything in power not to stab this kid in the wrist with a damn fork. I want him Mongolian Barbequed.

Was anyone else shocked by the death of Amy Winehouse? Seriously, Stevie wonder saw that coke headed British twat dying of an overdose. The last time I was this shocked about something was when our quarterback in high school threw his 15th pick. However, she did add to the list of musicians that died at 27. That gives me promise as my 27th birthday is the 17th. Thanks Amy for that gloomy outlook. Why could you have snorted the coke that killed you when I predicted it. I so wanted that Smithfield ham signed by Paula Deen.

No does not mean no! No means more roofies.

I havent had a pepsi in a while, just means the moment I go postal is drawing more and more near.

I was recently told I am a bad kisser. This is what i get for practicing with my family and our pet dog Misty. I miss that puppy.

I have some sports themed post coming in the near future, but about time the NFL players decide to pull their heads out of their silver spoon fed asses. I am sorry but instead of thinking what injury you can get next week, why can;t you think of the people who pay your damn salary. The Fans!!!!

Who wants to take Bret Favre plays this season bets?

I make a very ugly man but one damn sexy butch lesbian!!!!

I am scared for a girl to touch me now. I am scared I am just going to randomly pop a boner. It has been way to long and my pillow and a pair of pantyhose just isn't cutting it for me.

I kiss and told once, I lost my recess that day.

Why do they call it Veggietales when clearly their are fruit amongst their ranks of food items without arms and legs?

I am happy to contribute to our nation keeps getting fatter movement.

This is for the end time conspiracy theorists. The world is supposed to end later this year. The world is supposed to end in 2012. Hell, Hollywood made a movie about it. What does that leave me to believe, no one really knows the end. Here is my prediction, The world will end sometime on some day in some year. See you fucking loons in 2013

That does it for this bowl. I think it was hearty but not to filling.

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~*Jayme In the Sky With Diamonds*~ said...

Yep thats right, you're my perfect butch lesbian.