Friday, March 23, 2012

The Really Big Bowl of Random

Cue the Staind song. It's been a while. I have been in the midst of making my life more enjoyable. I have cut some fat out of my life. Thinking that a diet of less drama and more boobies is the way to go. In the midst of writing other pieces for this here little corner of the internet, ideas will flow through my head. However, the problem is that some of the ideas do not garner a whole piece, and that is the beginning of the bastard child of The Buzz Kill. I have compiled all those ideas in one really big bowl. Hence the awesome name of lack luster. The Really Big Bowl of Random.

I can't be the only one who thinks this is true. One of the greatest feelings in the world is cleaning your ear with a Q-tip. Your eyes kinda get that bouncy feeling and it feels amazing, almost orgasmic. I know I can't be the only one.

I want someone to please tell me the appeal of the Hunger Games? I read the first chapter and it really didn't do anything for me. When I first read the title, I thought it was about me and a plate of hot wings. Seriously, how does some of this crap get popular? I want you to add to that list Twilight, Harry Potter, and Justin Bieber.

I get very superstitious when it comes to March Madness. Each year, if Kansas wins the first game, I will wear the same shirt and shorts for game day. I do not wash them until they lose. During this time those clothing items will receive a nice spritz of ghetto cologne: aka Febreeze. 
Do you think they will hear me yelling at the tv? I know one person who will and won't be happy. The neighbors.
I ate a ton of hot wings today. I am going to have a spicy food baby. 
Have you ever opened someone's food cabinet and find condoms in there? I am wondering what goes on with the fruit section.
In the song La Bamba, I serious thought the word obesity was in it. I thought wrong. 
I recently was told that vulgarity is not funny. I have writing turrets. In certain stories, a good randomly placed PUSSY, COCK, FUCK, SHIT is wonderful.
My teddy bear kicked me out of bed. He told me he is tired of me. While the tears stream down my face, if there are any ladies who want a cuddle buddy, I am a available for nights, weekends, and birthday parties.