Sunday, June 10, 2012

April's Shower of Advice

Sometimes you look around and begin to notice that…you may very well be a selfish prick.  A tip off to this when you literally can’t hear the person talking to you for your inner voice screaming “Shut up! Oh for the love..would you please stop. I really don’t care. Why am I even listening to this, it isn’t about me.” At that point you may want to take a look at your life and see just exactly what kind of relationships you have. I am willing to bet they are all self-serving.  I have had a couple of interesting conversations this week with a highly self involved person who no longer wishes to be such. Which made me think that perhaps there are more of you out there. So here is some advice, just in case you would like to not end up dying alone.

 Step one, volunteer your time.  The more you stay in your own head the sicker you get. So simply volunteer to do something for someone else. Whether it be cutting someone’s grass who is disabled and not charging them, or sitting and visiting with someone at the nursing home, or maybe even working at a distribution center for those in need. In the beginning it will feel strange and foreign and slightly uncomfortable, kinda like a proctology exam. But you will soon begin to actually witness other people:  as people. Human beings with hearts, minds, goals, and situations very different from yourself. It’s a good first step.

Step two, be honest with people and accept honesty back. Sometimes the truth hurts and sometimes it can be very healing. If you truly do not want to be a selfish prick anymore then you have to stop lying to yourself and other people about how awesome you are. Come on, we know you do it. It’s a classic symptom of selfish prick syndrome, otherwise known as SPS. You are not awesome. You are hurtful and rude. You have to be willing to hear these things said about you and recognize it for the truth. It is vital that you accept the truth in order to change the reality of it in the future.

Step three, do not say you are sorry. Just be sorry. What I mean by that is the word “sorry” actually means that you will not do something again. It’s not meant to be a placatory word thrown around to excuse awful behavior. But that is exactly what it is used for. So instead, let your actions be your “sorry.” Begin to actually listen to other people and internalize their struggles and then act accordingly.

I know this all sounds really, well, simple to a lot of us. To the suffer of SPS though, it is the single hardest thing they will ever manage to do in their life. So good luck to all you suffers of SPS, may the force of goodwill be with you.