Thursday, June 14, 2012

An Asshole With A Heart

Most of you know who I am, and rightfully so. The 12 of you that follow this site (We gained a new follower in a small town in Nebraska.) pretty much know everything that there is to know about me. This is including what I am even wearing at this very moment. That is really creepy, and yet kind of flattering at the same time. For the few of you that are new to this party, let me introduce myself, my name is Richard Pruitt. That is my real name. I am not going by my stage name for this one, or by a cartoon stick figure, or by a very manly woman, and I am sorry that, I am not a former Miss Missouri. I am a 27 year old stand up comic. I have busted my ass for over 10 years now. This may come as a shock to some of you, young and old, but that is a real job. We just take a little bit more hard knocks, as some people like to call it, paying our dues. I wouldn't trade any of that for the world. A couple of years ago I took some time away to take care of my mom with Alzheimer's/ Dementia. The hardest 7 months of my life. Would I do it again? You bet your ass I would. I run a website. You are reading it right now. The idea for this thing started over 5 years ago. My health got worse and I decided that it was finally time to do something that I have always wanted to do. This site has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. Making someone smile at least once is one of my daily goals. If I don't achieve this I feel like I have failed miserably. I have always been considered to have a really big heart. I do believe 90% of my friends and family that you ask will tell you the same. I will do anything for anyone, including my own worst enemy. Why? It's just who I am.

I know what you are thinking what in the hell does this really have to do with anything? Being a nice guy is the biggest fucking a joke. A little over a year ago, I wrote about how an asshole will get everything in life. I am really starting to see why that mentality really is. Like I said earlier, I have busted my ass for years. You want to know what I have to show for it? Not a damn thing. Someone took everything that I have accomplished with them. This really doesn't bother me but it was the catalyst to a fire that may not go out.

A little over a year ago I was in a situation that I have never talked about in great detail on this site or to anyone for that matter. I fell madly in love with someone who couldn't give me all their heart. If that doesn't compute for some of you she was married. I got to dip my toe in a water that I said I would never do. I got involved with a married woman. How much of a fucking dumb ass could I have been? It was 6 months of seeing each other, her taking me to lunch putting food in my fridge so I can eat. I was going three days without eating. It was a rough time. She showed she gave a damn when few others did. However, for every action there must be an equal an opposite reaction. I sometimes really wish I was joking about this. I almost wish that this was just some part of a story I was working on. I walked 20 miles for her. What did I get in return? Her chewing up my heart and spitting it in my god damn face. I have said this a couple of time on here. The one thing she said to me when she said she was going to work on everything, “People train their entire lives for the Olympics only to finish in second place.” I love how that one little phrase will creep back in my head every time something new arises for me that will better my life. Almost a month goes by and she got pissed off at me for starting a relationship with someone. Hold the phone. I didn't know jealously was a one way street. I was jealous the entire time when going through this. I wish I knew why? A week or so goes by and I realized something very harsh. I was just the flavor of the month. She already had moved on and was in love.

It really didn't take me long after that moment to get over everything. You know the whole New Mexico story but there is so much in between all of this that really gets me to sit down and think sometimes. The girl who ran, The Fake Preggo Chick, The Bitch, The I am not ready for anything serious not to mention all the shit I have been going through and am still going through with all my health.

That is a small lead into where I am at now. I, over the last few days, have become very bitter. I have become very angry. You can almost call it a fuck the world attitude. Actually, you can call it that. I have watched friends emotions get destroyed by some assbag. I have been told recently that no one would ever want to be with a cripple. God bless you lady. I can honestly say no one would ever want to be with Two Face from Batman either. I know that I am going to have to spell this out. Yes, I called her Two Face. I don't have anything against the Batman villain. I have a problem with judgmental bitches. That was not for you awesome readers, that was for the simple mined jerk offs out there who think anyone that is sick or challenged are just charity cases. There are days that I can't even motivate or find a reason to get out of bed. Days I feel like just giving up and not caring about anything or anyone. I know I have to fight through it.

I love this site cause my voice can be heard. I am tired of being a human doormat. I will still be a nice guy to the people who deserve it. It has been awhile since I have posted anything serious. I know in my life with the shit that I am going through, this is where I need to be. This site was my home when I was homeless. I stand behind everything that goes up on this site, whether it be something I did, or one of the other talented writers here. This site means everything to me. If you can't understand that, Fuck you.


Jim Dick said...

Was it something I said?

Richard Pruitt said...

No. You are to huggable.