Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Certain Level of Hades

            It’s really a very long and sordid tale. Of which I’m sure you’ll want the details. Yes, I am speaking to you, the only loyal female reader, the other eleven I’m quite certain are male and trapped in their mother’s basements. Still love each and every one of you though! So, please forgive the incompleteness of this: the first part of many.

It was December and strangely enough it only just gotten cool, no snow had fallen yet. I had just finished a wild month long exile in the wilderness and returned to society at large. So perhaps this is why I fell prey so easily. I hadn’t had to guard myself against other humans for a while and had forgotten just how devious and vicious they could be. I met a man online. He used big words and spelled most of them correctly which is kind of a turn on for me. He shared certain nerdy interests and seemed genuinely interested in me.  We text for about a week and he was very sweet. We then decided to meet. I ran by his work as it was local and he could take a break, it was just a quick “hello” followed by a hug and a peck on the cheek. Afterwards I got a text invitation to dinner, which of course I accepted. I was then very disappointed to be stood-up for dinner. I didn’t get it, why would a man invite me to dinner after having met me only to stand me up? What a jack rabbit! So I, of course, text him to let him know this. This is the moment forever etched in my memory. This text, its response and the actions taken afterwards are the entrance to a certain level of Hades.  He text me back saying that he had unexpected issues come up with his children’s mother. Okay, I get baby mama drama. But he could have at least text to tell me that beforehand, right. This is the point where stupid girl takes over my body for a bit. I let it slide. ( Note to all females everywhere: Never Let It Slide!!!) He re-invites me for dinner the next night and again I accept. We eat, doing some hugging and a few kisses. It feels really good to have someone kiss me and hug me. So I get pulled in a little deeper.

We spend the rest of the month getting to know each other better. While I am a minimalist he is quite the materialist. It bothers me pretty badly. But I am weighing the entire picture here. During a date, my child vomited all over him, he calmly helped clean up and took our vomit covered clothing out for me. And he called to see me again the next day. Surely this a great guy.  He is very, very affectionate towards me and it feels really good. I hadn’t had a guy treat me like that in forever. At this point I am a little addiction to the attention. Yet when I bring up anything about taking it to the next level he quickly replies that he is not quite ready for that as he has had his heart broken very badly. But, he does want to be dating exclusively with me and only me. It makes sense and I feel a bit better about where we are at together. Near to Christmas he asked what my plans are. I tell him I’m spending the day with my family and he replies that he will be sitting at home by himself. I feel bad no one should have to be alone on Christmas, right? So, I invite him to spend it with my family. When I show up to escort him in to my parents’ house, he tells me he has to bring his dog, his tiny puppy, with him as his roommate won’t allow it there without him. I should have told him, “Sorry, that’s not gonna fly.” But, I take my dog everywhere so why not? Here is why not. His tiny puppy pooped and peed on my parents newly installed carpet.  Earning instant hatred from my Mother. He then proceeded to chat up my father with stories of great he is. Bordering on Father hatred. As this is the first guy I have brought over since my divorce I am caught in the judgment zone. Is he really what my parents think he is, or is he just the first face after the ex and receiving harsh criticism? A word to the wise, always, always, always, trust your mother. No matter how old you are or how demented she is, she will never tell you wrong about a boy.