Sunday, July 01, 2012

Common Sense By A Common Skank

I love my thongs! Really who doesn't love a little ass floss? But you have got to be joking to say low rider pants with thongs showing is the in style. Last I checked they were called underwear. So shouldn't they be kept under wraps to be unwrapped by the flavor of the night. Kind of destroys the mystery if he already knows what you're wearing under there.

I can't stand walking around the local K-mart to these little tween Twilight fans with their low cut jeans that might as well end at the thighs and their thongs sticking out. Where the fuck are the parents? We wonder why the teen pregnancies are on the rise and have practically quadrupled since the nineties? Really? Really? The fact your fifteen year old is walking around showing everyone her goods Lindsay Lohan style, isn't a hint? MTV you don't help either. Now don't get me wrong I don't hate it, just for teens.

What about the woman that should know better? You know who I am talking about. Those women who just got way too much junk in the trunk. It looks like the thong is clinging for dear life to her swelling hips. I worry every time one of these women bend over. The pressure on the thong makes me wonder which one is going to give themselves an enema. Remember as a young kid, when a friend of yours pulled back with a rubber band ans snapped you? Same Effect.

For the love of all things Sisqo, if you're going to wear this hideous fashion statement three things. Cut the tag out of your thong. If the tag to your thong is sticking out and it's practically the same size of that little patch of material, well it is amusing. For another WIPE good. When the thong starts changing colors as it goes down into your pants, we know your just not that into wiping. But if you do wipe good, then check for pieces of tp sticking out or that will work their way out. Seeing a piece of tp playing peek a boo is enough for the sexiest woman alive to become a Richard. Who in the hell wants that?


Jim Dick said...

Nothing makes Jim's Dick (no pun intended) spring up like a good ole' fashion whale tail breaching out of the Ass Sea.