Sunday, July 22, 2012

Moving On and Letting Go

Sorry for the short hiatus. If I could explain everything that happened I would but frankly I know I can't. I met some interesting people. I went skinny dipping for the first time. I was excited to see a shadow, and maybe just maybe have a good drink. Granted, I might have had one too many of the last thing. However, this is about something a realization I had this weekend. I think I had a small epiphany which is kind of impressive considering who I am.

We all have a friend who hasn't been able to let go of someone they have been with from the past. Male, female, or Wookie our heart is still attached to that person. Almost 90% of the time we are willing to do anything to get them back. Win them over again is a really good way of putting it. I watched one of my best friends try to reclaim the past. The woman he had been in love with since the days of the dinosaurs was going to come hang out with us. I have never seen anyone get so excited about anything. I was happy for him but at the same time I was nervous as well. Let me set you up a little story.

I started seeing the pain he was going through when I was gone in the land that won't be mentioned. She would tell him she was coming over. He would become like a 21 year old about ready to enter his first bar or the day a man sees his very first boob. He would clean his entire place. Get dressed to the nines. I am thinking that might consist of a Morris Day and The Time shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He would wait. She would stand him up and slowly break his heart. This would keep happening over and over and over again. He would go through the same routine and keep getting stood up. She kept ripping his heart out. I hate being the friend that stands idly by watching this. You can say anything you damn well want to him but sometimes it's hard to let go.

Fast forward to a few nights ago. She told him she was coming again. Honestly, I didn't think she was going to show at all. She proved me wrong but almost wish she hadn't instead. I have never seen my friend so happy. I couldn't deny him this moment. All of us were happy for him, even the beautiful newcomer to our group. He lit up like he was opening a Red Ryder BB Gun at Christmas.

I have heard a lot of stories of lady x and how awesome she was. All the good times they had together. I was just as excited to meet her. Halfway through the night I had my first conversation with her. That is when I knew the past was never going to happen for my friend and it broke my heart. She was a bigger girl when they were together. His description was that she was the happiest girl he ever met in his life. What did I see after talking to her? The furthest thing away from that. She wasn't the same as my friend described her. She was a depressed woman who is an alcoholic. I wish I could put that in a nicer way but the truth must be said. She was no where close to what he said. I know people change when they get older and it's usually for the better. What does it mean if they backslide?

I have had my own heart ripped out by many people but knowing he was going to have the same fate by the end of the night. It was the same feeling for me. Drink after Drink. She was wanting to get him plastered. Alcohol is a truth serum and on this night he spilled his heart. She decided to leave after a cigarette. I watched him turn from the happiest man in the world to hurt.

We have to take a step back. The old saying that if you don't learn from history you are doomed to repeat it is ringing true in this situation. I love this guy like he is my brother but the days he yearns for is gone. We have to stop living in the past. Take a look around you. The people in your life right now should make you the happiest person in the world. Someday you will find that special person that will make you forget about what you HAD and make you see it's about what you HAVE.