Friday, September 14, 2012

Frogs, Princes, and Parasites

Frogs, Princes and Parasites    part I
A continuation of A Certain Level Of Hades.
            The last time we touched on this very briefly, with the introduction as to how I began to sink into a certain level of Hades I’ve yet to name. There is so much more to this story. If you will remember I had invited a guy I had met very recently to spend Christmas day with my family out of charity, no should be alone on Christmas, right? Things did not go well with my family. In fact my Mother referred to him as evil. I was aghast she would make such a proclamation of someone she just met and asked her why. Her response was “ He pretends to be a Christian, but he’s not.” Now, my Mom is a bit old fashioned and I see this as her being very judgmental over some of his past issues. It bothers me, but I let it go. I continue to see this man. He treats me wonderfully, and is always so very affectionate, making me feel as if I am some exotic goddess. Making me feel loved. I hedge the question of the nature of our relationship. He responds with “ I’ve been really hurt in the past, and I don’t want to jump into anything to soon. I don’t want to see anyone else but you, though.” I reel at the revelation. He doesn’t want anyone but me.

             Here is where it gets tricky, this is the hard part to write, for you see it requires me to confess my stupidity…all of it. People should not ask you to do morally compromising things just because they have: but they will. And it’s your job to say no. I didn’t. I compromised myself for this man for reasons to this day I don’t really know. I loaned him money to pay a lawyer for a court case he told me was related to child support payments. He also told me he wanted to look  for housing together as soon as he got his legal issue taken care of. I was beside myself with the idea. On one hand it is way too soon, on the other I am completely into this man and now he wants to live with me. It seems like a wonderful idea. Some sort of fit together life with a boyfriend. I think I can do this. But that’s just it…is he my boyfriend? So again we have the conversation. To which I get a crushing response. The answer is “no”. I am flabbergasted. How can this be? He calls me everyday, we see each other everyday, and he hugs and kisses me, holds my hand wherever we are, and has no, absolutely no, problem with PDAs. And he wants to move into a house with me!! What am I missing in the boyfriend definition? And quite frankly I ask him, “Why do you treat me like you do, if I am not your girlfriend?” To which he replies, “ If I am sleeping with a girl I feel like I it to her to do so.”  He owed it to me?!? Like I am some harlot that gets paid in hand holding, and public kisses? “So why do you want to live with me, then?” I ask him. “Well, you need a new place and so do I. And we can see where things develop as we spend even more time together.” He responds. So he just spat a rejection at me and then tried to reel it in with the “ see what develops" line. I am so confused. I only know that I want to kick him in the shins. And that I do in fact need a new place to stay….and that he makes good money…..and that I can tolerate being around him for than a couple days a week……oh God, could I go from this to just being his roommate?