Friday, September 21, 2012

The Big Bowl Of Random

There is a chill in the air. It's starting to get a little cold out. You begin to think that you need something that is hearty, and that can warm you up not only on the outside but on the inside as well. I have to say kids, you are in luck on this beautiful day cause I have a bowl of something warm that will go right down the throat very easily. Ok. That was a sexual innuendo and I think I am ok with that as long as you are. I have a piping hot Big Bowl of Random. Yes, it is that time once again for just a bunch of thoughts that was not enough for its own piece. This is The Buzz Kill's version of the bastard kid that you didn't want. Pull up a seat and grab a spoon.

It is illegal to drink and drive. So I have a question that really needs to be answered. Why in the hell would you be allowed to have a drive through liquor store? That is about as stupid as having a billboard telling you not to text and drive and having a number you can text at the bottom. Oh wait.....

Speaking of Billboards. Want to know how to cause a driver with ADD/ADHD to wreck? Keep putting those electronic change billboards.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. So if you see me eating a bowl of Chili, I am plotting revenge against someone.

Is it weird I like my chili cold?

If I put roofies in my own drink, would it be date rape or masturbation?

I can't be the only one who thinks of Ferris Bueller when I hear Twist and Shout.

Ladies over 45 need to stop dressing like their 15 year old daughters. Eww.

Any one over 60 should not drop it low, a hip might come out of place.

Nothing will make you clinch your butthole more than seeing a crack deal go down. Something tells me that wasn't sugar.

Not only did I find my thrill on blueberry hill but I found it on every hill afterwards.

The problem of not having an ass, My backside is flatter than Kansas, is leading me to buy the product Booty Pop Panties. 

If a woman flashes her boobs, she gets beads. What do guys flash to get theirs?

Fat guys are excluded from that last joke since they already have boobs.

I am really thinking that The Big Bowl of Random is The Buzz Kill's version of Marty Jannetty. 10 bonus points if you know who that is.

Would you eat at a buffet that only cost 99 cents? If you answered yes, please remember your high school cafeteria.

Nerds are great at using their hands in the bedroom. We have a lot of practice alone with a tube sock.

I think I have kept, the Kleenex, viva, and tube sock people in business. Just me.

I appreciate what her contribution to the music world was, but I can't be the only person out there who doesn't care for Janis Joplin. Hippies, are going to lovingly kick my ass now. I would rather hear someone else sing her songs. It's metal before metal even existed. If I wanted to hear screaming, I would walk into a daycare or I would Call Your Mom.

And this Big Bowl just went out on Bang.