Tuesday, November 06, 2012

The Hanging Chad of Random

It is the return of the red headed bastard child of the site, The Big Bowl of Random. However, in this case we are going to be changing the name to the Hanging Chad of Random so we can remember an election that maybe two people remember and care about.

Did you go out and vote? Well, why not. Quit reading this and go. Then come back and finish.  Voting is a way to make our voice heard.

 If you stick a feather behind Barack Obama's ear will he fly? He already leads a circus, I like to call it America.

If Disney sues me for that, I am kicking George Lucas in the Death Stars. 

I have seen toilet brushes with better hair than Mitt Romney.

I am not going to tell you who I voted for cause it won't come true or is that wishes. Either way I am not telling. Do research and come up with your own solutions.

I was sitting around in my underwear, drinking a Pepsi, eating some summer sausage and watching Spongebob Squarepants on Netflix when I started to think. Nothing brings out the intelligent side in you like some Patrick Starr. I was wondering what has been missing in my life. I haven’t had the best run of happiness lately. Well, it dawned on me. Just like that. I have not heard those three big words in a long time. Your Big Penis. Yes, the three words that can define a good healthy meaningful existence. Its not really, your big penis. I am guessing that a few of you reading that looked at my picture and busted into hysterical laughter. I will wait till you are done. (I am singing the theme to The Drew Carey Show while waiting.) I miss the feeling of care when you have someone close to you. Go ahead and call me sensitive all you want.

Most alcoholics have a beer belly. I have a Pepsi Belly. Its much lighter and looks just a little sexy.

Is anyone else nervous if Todd Akin gets elected in Missouri? If he does, there might be a lot of woman moving out of the newly titled Rape Me State.

I am good for something. I haven’t figured what that something is but I am good for it.

You meet that someone you take back to your house. Things start getting intense and one thing leads to another. You end up in the bedroom to perform the Dirty Deed. In the middle of your hot steamy love affair, you look up to see your dog or cat looking right you. Talk about a boner or mood killer. Nothing will take away some hot boning action, like a dachshund looking at you with a what the fuck look. This is only acceptable with furries and my ex.

I was pissed this morning. I went to vote. I got to use the touch screen voting system. It's nice being part of the future. Choke on that Rural Missouri. However, one problem. I didn’t get my I voted sticker. My sister told me were all adults here in Arkansas. To that I say, I didn't ask for a Daphne from Scooby Sticker or a glow in the dark sticker.

Tomorrow, instead of political ads, it will be M&Ms talking to Santa.

Well this one is gonna be short. No pun intended. Dont forget to Rock The Vote today.My name is Richard and I approved this post.