Monday, December 24, 2012

A Non Willing Letter To Santa

Dear Fake Fat Fuck in a Wool Red Suit,

Here we are again and I have to write to a fucking character to heats cookies and some how  is able to fit down a chimney. I just can not find that very believable. I guess I will humor myself and all the readers. I have been a bastard so I am going to buy my own gifts cause that is how it works. Well, since I have to ask you for something, I am guessing that you know what it is going to be. I am not going to change this year. It's a tradition and I am not against breaking tradition. I want the editor and creator of The Buzz Kill, Richard's death. I guess I need to tell the way I would like it this year. I want him to eat some hot wings that are so hot that it explodes his anus in a massive spicy fart that can be heard three countries away. If I am in the great white north, I want to be able to hear that shit and begin laughing. Where is that damn Slinky and Snuggie I asked for you fat mother fucker. I am asking for those again and a can of flexseal. I want to make that nerdy chick shut the hell up. Do it or I will boot you in the chestnuts.

Figure IT Out