Saturday, December 22, 2012

An Open Letter

I told you, I would be back during the 13 Days of Christmas and this time I am going to piss off some really weird people. If you are new around here, stick around for a while and you will actually learn something. It will change your life unlike those damn reruns of The Cleveland Show on Netflix that you watch in your underwear. It is time to educate yourself and I am going to help with that. If you do not know who I am let me introduce myself. My name is Stick Figure (I lit a fire in the fireplace. I was snuggled up to a girl who I put my cock in her face. We couldn't do much unless When she was on top of me I felt her power. Instead of rings on the 5th Day of Christmas, I gave her a 5 star Golden Shower.) Dan. So the big day is upon us and what have you been doing? I am guessing you have been packing away the fudge like Richard on Prom night. The difference is that I meant you are actually packing away real chocolate fudge and Richard's fudge is referring to butt sex. I have seen something over the last few days that has made just sick to my Stick Figure stomach. It's like eating the spiciest wing sauce and thinking that you won't have Montezuma's Revenge. I am also guessing that the Mayans may have got that wrong. I have been pissed off at a site that I have seen. I figured it needed to be addressed. 

Dear People Who Think That Dressing Their Pets Up In People Clothes Is Cute for Christmas

Do you remember when you were younger and your mom would lay out your clothes for you on picture day? Some of you I am guessing that is still happening into your late 30s, that is just really sad. Someday, you find all those photos and thought how hideous you looked in your Bill Cosby looking sweater. The first thing going through your mind was, Who in the hell thought that was a good idea? Yeah. That is how your animals feel except instead of feeling guilt and shame, the animal will bite you and then you will finally have to get a damn rabies shot. No animal should ever have to be put through that. Think about it you dumb asses. Do you wear clothes with a hole cut out so you can lift your leg? No they don't!!! Next time you are going to put long johns on your dog or put a funny hat on your cat remember what your mom made you wear.

Figure It Out


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