Sunday, December 16, 2012

Hall Of Hotties

I really hope that you are enjoying the 13 Days of Christmas here on The Buzz Kill Blog. One thing that makes Christmas so special to me is the fact that little traditions that make this holiday special. Driving around with a cup of hot chocolate looking at Christmas lights and trying not to jizz in my pants. I love when people decorate their house for Christmas. Sitting down and enjoying a sweet treat after sweet treat. Being a fat kid and eating your weight in fudge, there is a possibility by the end of the holiday I could be a diabetic. It isn't Christmas without watching the Specials that clog up my television. Television special after special. It ranges everywhere between, How The Grinch Stole Christmas and The awfully awesome Star Wars Christmas Special. Somewhere in between those two stands the sexiest leg in all of Christmas specials. I know what you are thinking, did he just make a typo or what? The next induction into the Hall of Hotties is going to light up a room and the inside of your trousers. The inductee into the Hall is:
The Leg Lamp
 I know that many of you have seen the timeless Christmas classic that runs for 24 hours on TBS, A Christmas Story. In this awesome movie, Ralphie's Dad filled out a crossword puzzle that asked for the common knowledge of  the name of The Lone Rangers Cousin's Horse. A telegram came for him saying that he won a major award. The family sits down for a magical dinner of meatloaf. Not the most amazing dinner in the world but it's before Christmas and it's cheap. Randy is playing with his food, all I can do is wish I had some damn meatloaf. Damn the fact I am a fatty. All of a sudden there is a knock at the door and the moment had arrived. The Dad opens the door and gets this big wooden box that says the word fragile. He thinks it actually says Frajeale and it's from Italy, he is quickly corrected by his wife. The box lid was ripped open with a hammer  and a crowbar. He gets inside the box, and starts throwing the hay or straw out of the box. It was a much simpler time and they didn't have packing peanuts. All of a sudden the Dad pulls out this leg. A Black Stiletto, a leg covered in a thigh high stocking and half a cute butt. He keeps digging and finds a shade. The epiphany happens and realizes that his major award was a lamp. The excitement runs throughout his veins, and the first thing that he wants to do to, put the lamp in the window for the whole neighborhood to see. The major thing I remember from this iconic scene was the fact the Ralphie ran his hand up that sexy leg, only to have his hand smacked away by his mother. Later on in the movie, the wife made the leg lamp meet its demise. The dad was sad and I was sad. I think the dangers about owning the lamp, especially since I am a leg man, I would just keep turning it on and off like it does to me.  I am scared my boner would knock it off the shelf or the edge of the bed depending on what kind of mood I was in. We would like to welcome the Leg Lamp into the Hall of Hotties. In the words of Ralphie, "Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window!"