Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The 7s

We are going to take a look at something that will appeal to the fat kid in all of you. One of the best things to around the holidays is filling your gut with some food. The Turkey for Thanksgiving, and for some of you, the Ham for Christmas. Everything being saturated in gravy. But there is one thing that helps put the extra notch on our belts or makes us go out and finally buy those hideous looking sweat pants. Sweets. If there is one thing Christmas is known for it's the sweets associated with it. In this edition of The 7s we are going to take a look at the Top 7 Iconic Holiday Sweet Treats. Whether you are sitting down trying to figure out what to make this holiday season, or you are stoned off your ass, this is going to be the list for you. And no list will be complete without showing pictures of the delectable goodness.

#7.  It's the gift that keeps being circled throughout your group of friends for years and years. The dreaded fruitcake come in at number 7. One thing about the fruitcake is how much these things weigh. I swear if you ever want to break into a store and you can find a brick anywhere but somehow you magically have a fruitcake, you are good to go. Something about fruit being baked into a cake does nothing for me but there are some out there who don't mind putting this bouncy treat in their stomachs. The only downside is that it will last till Christmas of 2021.

#6. Dentists everywhere get all excited when they hear that a family is making the treat that comes in our sixth spot. The dreaded Peanut Brittle. It's a hard candy filled with even harder nuts. If two or more teeth don't break in the process of eating it. I do believe that would be a Christmas miracle.

#5. Getting to make two cookies talk outside their house and a long comes the human monster to eat both of their heads off in one solid bite. The Gingerbread House/Man/Cookie is 5th. The long work of hours putting it all together and watching it fall a couple of times. Getting pissed, throwing a temper tantrum, playing some reindeer games and finally finishing it, is why it finishes so low. It's a time consuming task but it's so worth it in the end. Gingerbread has one of the weirdest tastes on our list but nothing will take away the fact that it is so delicious.

#4. How many of you have ever heard of Baklava? I guess the next question I need to ask is, How many of you have ever tried it? It is a Turkish pastry that will melt in your mouth and send your taste buds screaming in an almost orgasm. Now, there is a hang up here. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, just think the baklava from the store is going to be what I am talking about. It tastes very stale. Baklava is a sweet that needs to be made fresh and ate fresh. It is made with filo dough and sweetened with a honey or syrup. Hard to make but damn if you don't find yourself wanting more there is something wrong with you.

#3. This list is lacking something. What is the word I am looking for? Oh, how about some chocolate. Nothing symbolizes the word Christmas more like having a nice rich batch of fudge. Oh Fudge. Made simply and taste great, fudge is always a great treat for when you are just relaxing from a long day of opening gifts and watching the in laws make your world a living hell by giving your child a drum set. The melting of chocolate in your mouth and on your hand makes Christmas more like Christmas.

#2. You find the cutters that are shaped like Christmas characters. I have something that is kind of a theme with this holiday. What is it about people eating the heads off Christmas characters? Does it give us some sort of empowerment over the cookie world? Coming in our second spot is the classic Christmas Sugar Cookie. Covered in that really weird edible red and green glitter, can you ever go wrong with a classic. Seriously, the best time for these are always to be made by family or friends or that special someone you want to get freaky with. It's just something that people should do together for the holidays.

#1. This sweet treat can be sucked on till there is nothing left and hung on a piece of wood. Have a guess yet? You can buy them by the box. There are assorted flavors ranging from chocolate mint to strawberry. They come in cane form. If you don't know what it is now, it's just time to give up and go live among the hermits. I am talking about the ever so awesome candy cane. Nothing says Christmas more like the candy cane. I remember as a kid being able to walk up to the tree and just pull a can off of it and instant holiday breath mint.

I have a sudden urge to eat 6 of the items on this list right now. No fruitcake for me.