Thursday, February 14, 2013

Hall of Hotties

Well, so far on this Valentine's Day, I have noticed something kind of import on this here little site. It has just been for the ladies today. What about us men? Why don't we get to look at some Hotties while we drink down a beer and eat some hot wings. It is fair time that we remedy this. One thing that is very common among all holiday but Valentine's Day in particular is the fact that music plays a very big role in how the holiday goes for some people. You can use music to set the mood for a romantic night out or you can use music to set the, I am getting freaky meter to 11. Either way music is essential for Valentine's Day. There is one genre of music that comes to my mind right out of the starting gate. That is Country Music. I think about it. You get songs about heartache, you get songs about love, songs about stealing cars, telling people how terrible they are... And this is just a Taylor Swift album. We haven't even begun to scrape the surface. However, in this genre there is one country queen that comes to my mind right away. She might be an Idol to some, to some she might be an inspiration, to us she is the next induction into The Hall of Hotties. I present to you, Carrie Underwood.

If you know anything about Carrie, she is from the town of Muskogee Oklahoma. I wouldn't mind boomering her sooner. I am not even sure what that means but damn it, it sounded great. She rose to national fame by winning American Idol season 4. She dominated that season showing off she had in range in all genres but her strength was country. She is one of the few contestants to have had success after winning the show.

Her first big hit to come across the airways, was the smash hit Jesus Take The Wheel. I am not going to lie and it might sound really dirty but hell it is the Hall of Hotties and anything less would be uncivilized. Jesus might have control of the wheel but I would Carrie would have control of my shift knob. The next song that would really catch the attention of everyone who is not a die hard Carrie Underwood fan was Before he Cheats. If you were to cheat on Carrie Underwood, I would only have but one question for you and it is simple. What the hell is wrong with you?

Her sophomore album was just as big as the first one but her third album, she made this grown man have to change pants a few times. Seriously the sexiest music video ever made might be for the song Cowboy Casanova. If you don't believe me look it up on YouTube. Your penis will be rising to only levels that Charlie and his Grandpa experienced after drinking The Fizzy Lifting Drink. The next song that would catch steam would be Undo It. I figure I can do what that song says with ease as long as the bra doesn't hook in the front. Those things are harder to solve than a Rubik's Cube. Her latest song off of her 4th album is called Blown Away. I really don't think you have to ask me twice.

We would like to welcome Carrie Underwood into the prestigious Hall of Hotties. Carrie, if by some weird chance you read this, please do not send your hockey playing husband to knock out all of my teeth. My face is my money maker.