Saturday, February 02, 2013

The Dating Diva

It is another week boys and girls and that means it is time to answer your questions. I am not going to waste anytime let us get right to it.

Dear Whitney, 
Is having friends with benefits bad if you have a boyfriend? Last April, I got caught with not deleting my Facebook messages and caught me talking to my friend about what I would do if I kept on having sex with him, now he was not forcing me or anything. I love having friends with guys, but it turns into friends with benefits and I also have a boyfriend. The problem is that my boyfriend wants to have sex with me but is scared/ wants to save it for marriage, but I don’t and I don’t know what to tell him about having sex with him. We almost had sex twice, but how can I tell my boyfriend about having sex where we can instead of me having sex with others. Help!!!!

In this case, the first thing I would do is take my boyfriends feelings into consideration. If you feel like you are wanting to be with someone else then maybe it might be a way to go about ending the relationship with your boyfriend. If you still want to be with your boyfriend and make it work, you are going to have to sit down with him and open your heart up about this issue. Find out exactly what his fear is, and see if you can work through it. The third thing is being friends with guys is not a problem as today it is much different than 50 years ago but it can not be with the intention that at some point you are going to be with them in any way. They might have the notion or you might, if a friendship is going to be made by someone of the opposite sex, maybe set a boundary line and let them know. I hope this helps.

Dear Whitney,
I talked with a girl for a couple of days and then all of a sudden I don't hear from her. Could she be busy or just not interested anymore? Do I need to take a hint and just stop emailing her? 

This doesn't mean that the person you are talking to isn't interested. Today our lives are faster paced, a normal day could turn in a split second. I would wait till she responds. Who knows you may have made a new friend or something even more.

Dear Whitney,
My husband does not want to touch me anymore and it's really starting to hurt me a bit. He won't touch me, but he will watch pornography and talk about how he wants to have sex with other women who aren't me. Am I fighting an uphill battle? Do I give up or work on it?

I can actually speak from experience on this matter. I was with someone for around three years. They were my high school sweetheart. After, awhile of being together, they did not want to have anything to do with me and the spark seems to have just disappeared. It could still work but if even agreed to, old habits will die hard. It sounds to me like the spark is gone. I am always one for trying to save a relationship first but it seems like in his mind the relationship is already over and he has moved on.

If you would like your questions about dating, relationships, or sex send me an email at