Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Movie Review Theater 3000

Warmed by the previous touching movies, I feel more in touch with my inner feelings.  Apparently I’m not a cruel cold hearted… well… you know.  Why just the other day I decided to bring a little joy in my life and found some abandoned paint in the BuzzKill basement, despite the warning labels mentioning it was hazardous to my health, I painted butterflies on my fingernails.  Butterflies!  They're so cute and cuddly and… oh yeah… I’m supposed to be writing movie reviews.  So that’s what that blue glow from the TV is.  Well, I wonder what movie it could be.  More thoughtful uplifting movies?  ”Lay the Favorite” what does that mean?
“Lay the Favorite” means if you want to waste an hour and a half of your life, go ahead and watch it.  I was feeling hopeful with this movie starring Bruce Willis, Catherine Zeta Jones, Vince Vaughn, Rebecca Hall, and Joshua Jackson, but was quickly disappointed.  However, if you ever wanted to see Laura Prepon bare breasted and fake a horrible southern accent this might be the movie for you.
Beth (Hall) is a kind hearted soul with questionable morals, who makes a living by stripping privately. However, when she is confronted by the end of a pistol being wielded by one her less savory customers, she’s ready for a change.  So what better way to start a new life than as a cocktail waitress in a Las Vegas casino and away she goes.  However, the economy stinks and no cocktail waitressing jobs are to be had.  As she slumps around Las Vegas she bumps into Holly (Prepon), who points her in Dink’s (Willis) direction, a professional sports gambler.
At this point we discover Beth is deceivingly good at numbers and letters and she instantly becomes Dink’s latest prodigy and good luck charm.  He introduces her to the guys and fellow competitor Rosie (Vaughn), who of course wants her to work for him in New York where gambling is illegal.  As the two spend more time together, the work relationship begins to become fuzzy and they develop feelings for one another.  However, Dink has a wife.  A catty, suspicious wife named Tulip (Jones), who takes in Beth’s scantily clad outfits and instantly suspects Beth’s motives with her husband.  In a fit of jealous rage Tulip forces Dink to fire Beth.  At this point she meets Jeremy (Jackson) and follows him to New York, where she meets up with Rosie.  Troubles continue to follow Beth as she makes one rookie mistake after another, but she is bailed out in the end and everyone goes home happy, even Dink’s wife.
The plot of this movie meanders around a little bit.  The acting is incredulous and over the top.  Hall’s naive stripper girl routine hasn’t been seen since Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi in “Show Girls”.  That movie stunk and so does this one.  I guess I, like most Americans, have trouble believing an uneducated stripper can succeed outside the porn industry.
Stupid butterflies… it must have been the paint fumes.